that birthday party? yeah, it was a drag ...

so, last night, mrs.twink dragged me to a birthday party which, for all intents and purposes, was a great little shindig, however ... i knew only the people that i came with and then 2 or 3 others who showed up, which, whatever ... no big deal. i was already in the company of the most important people at the party.

so tracy, the birthday gal ... at least i think her name was tracy ... help me out, here mrs.twink ... anyway ... possibly-tracy, the birthday gal, was a sweetheart and i do believe i had met her before at a gathering thrown by the twinks in the past, either new years or a birthday, i really can't remember. usually the twinks' parties turn into a blur of alcohol and food, so it's hard to separate them from one another.

anyway, so the house that this party was in so so cute! and the girl--god help me i can't even remember what letter her name begins with--did a great job with the decorating. 4 floors, including basement and rooftop deck. i hung out for a little bit on the roof with zack and jenny before planting my ass on the sofa next to mrs.twink, where we discussed fascinating topics such as: shear genius, top chef, hell's kitchen and project runway. mrs.twink and i were joking around and she confused me with steven saying that steven was the one who was up doing the robot with her at her wedding reception, when the fact is ... it was me who started it off with her and i was up there for a bit until the entire attendance at the reception started to crowd around and watch and, well ... i was done. so, anyway, i was hurt ... so i made some emo comment about slashing my wrists (/wrists) and i got the dirtiest look from some cow in a black dress. here's an idea, you pig faced sow ... eat. me. raw.

anyway, about an hour and 15 minutes into the party, it was time for mrs.twink and i to depart ... we had a drag show to get to! so, she and i made our way through fed hill on foot to meet jamie, terri and bill at some bar called tight rope or on the ropes or rope walker or ... well, something with the word "rope" in it. jamie. was. hammered. already ... it was a little after 9 pm. oy, that boy.

we hailed a cab and all 5 of us squeezed into this brick oven on wheels, which was ripe with stale sweat and undertones of urine, and made our way to the hippo. long story short, yadda, yadda, yadda ... we're in the hippo, having drinks, chatting and the show is about to begin, so we go over to the dance side to find our tables. mrs.twink and i sat down just in time to catch chaka khanvict perform the opening number, a little madonna tune. i glance over at mrs.twink and her face was that of a woman who suddenly realized her tickets to the "Jesus Saves" revival concert, were actually front row tickets to a public execution. she. was. stunned.

but, as with all of the human race, curiosity always gets the better of us and she watched on, i think waiting for the train to derail and spill human parts.

about halfway through the show this collection of middle-to-late-aged women in skimpy clothing and pasty white skin, begin dancing on a portable pole that was lugged out into the middle of the stage ... (for jamie: sorry for not helping to carry that out there, but honestly ... after seeing what was done with it, i wanted to disinfect just for being in the same room with that thing.) they did this somewhat erotic--and extremely creepy--routine and i think i caught sight of grandmotherly labia. i can't be certain. it may have just been a skin tag. anyway, i think even the straight guys who were at the show found it difficult to watch and i threw up a little in my mouth.

now, don't get me wrong. i have no problem viewing a woman's body and i think women are beautiful, for the most part. i'm not sexually attracted to them (shut up, mrs.twink) but i certainly can appreciate their femininity and kudos to these cougars for being comfortable enough with themselves and getting up there and dancing their wrinkles off. i was just ... disturbed ... and after peering around the room, i certainly wasn't the only one.

there were some great performances and a decent amount of humor from the MC who, at one point, asked mrs.twink if i "popped [mrs.twink's] cherry," to which a shake of the head prompted, "good, because he's gay, honey!"

i could tell mrs.twink was tired, so finally, after an extremely long show--which was a lot of fun and very well put together--mrs.twink and i hopped into a cab back to her place where i got into my jeep and drove home.

fin.