so, yesterday started out really shitty and if the title of this post isn't any sort of indication, well ... you're either a complete moron or you don't read post titles ... either way, i shall enlighten you.
so, i get ready for work and i head downstairs. i deposit some trash in the dumpster--which will get picked through later by the dundalk vultures--and i hop in my jeep, ready to go grab a coffee and head to work. i turn the key and i get nothing ... huh? i tried again, this time a flicker ... as they say, third time's the charm and my jeep turns over. must have gotten wet, i say to myself. i back out and head to 7-11.
7-11 is packed this morning with the usual dundalkian fare ... from trashy women with mustaches waiting for their rides to bristly old men spilling hot coffee on their hand without so much as a wince or a hiss of pain to the grumpy 7-11 employee who, finally, has started to warm up to me. i just think he wants in my pants. sorry, buddy ... i only sleep with guys who work at mcdonald's!
so, i pay for my shit and hop back into my jeep and try to start it. nothing. not this again! i tried several more times and still nothing. i called my boss; left a message.
me: um, [boss], i am going to be late or not in at all. i know this is a very vague statement, but i'm having jeep trouble and i'm about ready to take a hammer to it. but, i'm calling triple a and i will try and be in asap.
there's a slight snag here ... i don't have a AAA account which, now that i think about it, is a very, very stupid decision on my part, so i called the next best thing ... my father. long story short, he gave me all of his AAA info and i call them up.
woman on the line: thank you for calling triple aaa, mr. [my last name] this is chartrendra speaking, how are you today? author's note: i have no idea if that is really her name. she sort of slurred it and that's what i could piece together. we'll call her char-char.
me: hi char-char. i'm not too good, actually. i'm having trouble with my jeep and i'm stuck at 7-11. i think it's the battery.
char-char: well mr. [my last name] we can send someone out to jump your vehicle or to replace the battery for you.
me: ooh, a replace would be nice if that's the problem.
long story short, i tell her where i am and she says someone is on the way. a few seconds after hanging up with her i get a call from someone else from AAA informing me that battery service doesn't run until 8 or 8:30 (i forget) but they will come out there and jump me. the guy comes out and jumps me, tells me to go to pep boys. i do. it takes about 2 hours for them to replace my battery. i'm not happy. i go to work. i get there at 10:30 a.m. i'm still not happy. i check my comcast email. my new laptop has been delivered to my father's place. i'm happy again.
the rest of the day crept by so fucking slowly in part because i was terrified that someone was going to steal my new laptop sitting out on my father's front porch.
after work i sped to my father's place and made it there in roughly 20 minutes which would normally take 40-45 minutes. i'm lucky i didn't get pulled over or die. i pull into the driveway and i see the computer waiting for me. yay!
i just hafta say, this computer is amazing! it can do so much and i love it. it has a fucking fingerprint scanner! are you shitting me?? i had to program it to read my fingerprints!
in closing ... my jeep sucks, i hate it, but it's fixed now--for how long. i love my computer, it's raw power in a tuxedo black shell! i think later this week i will take over the world. <3
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