"you're a mean one, mr. wind ... you really like to bloooooow."
so, it's crazy windy outside today and it sucks driving a jeep in because it's very similar to steering a cardboard box in a hurricane. on my way to work i was swerving on the highway, narrowly avoiding mac trucks and other motorists, while also having to really stamp on the gas pedal to get princess madonna jeepington to cut through the wind and move forward at a faster clip than 45 mph. oy. i think i pissed off some people behind me.
anyway, so, though the wind is hard to drive in, i'm very delighted that it's this windy today and i'll tell you why. as per the title of this blog, on my travels through dundalk the wind decided to make me happy by causing severe havoc to every single inflatable christmas ornament that adorns the lovely town of dundalk. since wal*mart, k-mart and every other trashy store decided to sell those annoyingly white-trashy blow up dolls you place in your yard for the holidays, i've had an unhealthy aversion to them. i've contemplated slicing and dicing with a butcher knife on occasion ... that's how much i hate them. so, i had a smile the whole way while noticing these eyesores deflated or blown off kilter or simply exploded under the immense pressure. i love mother nature and her early december spring cleaning. time to take out the trash, mommy-nature!
the united states should seriously ban these things and gather them up and airdrop them in afghanistan as a form of mental warfare. take that, osama ... you've got pretty lawn ornaments.
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6 comments:
I have often thought about tackling those blow up football players that delightfully say to the rest of the world, "I like football and you need to know that." Oh the delight it would bring me to take down one of those stupid things... but then I think about how I may get grass stains on my clothes and I move on.
yay for wind! i also can't stand those inflatable lawn decorations that they seem to make for ANY and EVERY friggin' occasion! YARG!
I am afraid to admit that my Aunt has those awful blow up lawn decorations! They're gross, but she has one that if the wind blows just right looks like Tigger is giving Winnie the Pooh head...it's HOT!
As The Mr and I were driving up to my parents house on Sunday, I was suddenly struck with fear that they would have one of those inflatable Snowglobes. They didn't, thank god, but I decided that if I ever see one - I'll slice a hole in it and blame it on the punk kids down the street that threw ice cream at their house.
lol, that sounds like a great plan, mrs.twink!
Joff -- you slay me with your blog entries. This one deserves a Pulitzer. Truly.
Jamie -- if Mom and Dad ever get one of these hideous things, it's time to commit them (Mom and Dad, not the hideous things). ;-)
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