don't sty for me, argentina ...

so, this morning i woke up with--pardon the grossness of this--an excessive amount of eye guk in my left eye. my immediate thought, as i rubbed my eye with the heel of my left hand, was "oh, joy ... pink eye." well, not pink eye, but close enough ... i have a sty in my left eye and it hurts.

i took a little looksee in the mirror and it looks like it may be the result of an ingrown eyelash, though i'm not sure. regardless, my vision has been blurry all day and my left eye has been itchy and irritated and i think i had a headache all day as a result, though the headache certainly may have been brought on by the enormous amounts of stress at work lately. i'm exhausted ... here it is, 6:30 pm and i feel like i've run a marathon and the next 15 weeks are going to probably be just as bad ... you see, the system we're working in is going live in november and all kinks, bugs, glitches, information errors, etc, need to be wiped clean before it does so, so that's why i am--and will continue to be--a busy boy. so, add a sty into the mix and i am not a happy camper.

however, this sty reminds me a funny story. would you like to hear it? here it goes.

back when steven and i were dating we were out and about one day and stopped over at quiznos in odenton, i think, for a quick bite to eat. after lunch, steven wanted to visit the pet store that was in the same little strip mall thing. we walk in and this place looks like a puppy mill ... like, seriously ... you know when you're with a group of people and the subject of pets comes up and there's always that one person who's like, "oh, go rescue a dog from the pound ... don't get your pets from a pet store ... they support puppy mills." well, this is the place they were referring to when they chimed in with that little gem.

so, we're in there and steven and i split off in our own directions. this place was devoid of anything that a sane person would purchase for their pet and i was willing that everything in there was either lead or asbestos based ... there was nothing to look at except sad animals and wal*mart quality squeeze toys, however ... out of the corner of my eye i spotted a large silver cage. curiosity being my better half, i made my way to the urine-smell tinged breeding ground of disease so lovingly housing a white and brown chinchilla which stared at me with death in his (or her) beady little eyes.

DO NOT TOUCH! reads a large sign.

pfft, that obviously isn't for my benefit, so i inch my hand toward the cage ... the chinchilla is staring at me ... so, i inch my hand closer and i feel sudden wetness. what the fuck? i look down and see drops of something on my hand and i am completely confounded ... where did this wet come from? is the ceiling dripping? did i drool in my inhuman desire to touch the forbidden? i wasn't sure ... so, being the intelligent guy that i am, i reach toward the cage once more and i watch in horror as the chinchilla stands up and thrusts his hips at me sending a stream of urine onto my hand. i jerk my hand back and stare in disgust at what i now know is on my hand ... so i did what anyone would do ... i wiped my hand on some merchandise and decide my best option was to move away and pretend nothing happened.

so, i'm looking at the kittens behind the glass wall and i hear steven's voice behind me.

steven: ooh, what is that?

i turn around and see steven next to the chinchilla cage, his face mere inches from the metal bars, he hand poised to poke the little rat.

me: steven, don't touch--
steven: aaaaaah!! ::his hands are over his eye:: aaaah!!
me: ::doubled over laughing:: ... i tried ... ::breathe:: ... to warn ... ::breathe:: ... you ...
steven: that mother fucker pissed in my eye!!
me: ::laughing harder now ... it's hard to breathe ... i think i'm stroking out::
steven: aaaah! ewwwwwww ... ::shudders:: that little fucker! i will kill it!

so, after i became calm ... and then started laughing again watching steven shudder with revulsion, then calming again ... we make our way out of the store ... pretending nothing ever happened. outside, the laughing resumed, this time steven joining in.

fast forward >>
a day or two later steven stopped by the house to see me and when i greeted him i was in shock. i couldn't even see steven behind the ginormous sty that had formed in his lower eyelid of his right eye. it. was. huge. and white ... and pus filled ... it was fucking hilarious!!

ah ... ::relaxing sigh:: that makes me feel better amount my own--barely visible--sty. i laugh every time i remember that incident and it will forever go down as one of my favorite--if not the favorite--steven-related mishaps.

and ... i'm spent. <3