this page intentionally left blank ...

those 5 words ... in that order ... irritate me.

i was at work this morning at 7 am (i'm dedicated!!!) and i was working on some contracts for various doctor's out in texas and i ran across one contract that had not one, but two pages back to back stating only: this page intentionally left blank.

what, in the name of god, is the reasoning behind this? who's the brilliant mind that came up with that idea. is there a boardroom full of people sitting around a conference table and they're going through contracts and one guy ... we'll call him james ... speaks up and asks phil, the guy who wrote the contract, why the pages are blank?

james: hey phil. this contract looks great but i noticed that you forgot to put something on these two pages.
phil: oh yeah, james? which pages?
james: these two pages, phil. ::holds up the two blank pages:: you forget to put contract terms on here?
phil: no, james. those pages were intentionally left blank.
james: oh. well, phil, maybe we should put a notation on there to inform other people who read this contract that these pages were intentionally left blank.
phil: not a bad idea, james. but what could we put on there that would let people reading this contract know that i intentionally left those two pages blank.

silence fills the room as everyone is now brainstorming. susie, who just got back from getting a coffee, sees all the thoughtful looks.

susie: what's going on?
james: susie, we were just going over this contract that phil worked on and he intentionally left two pages blank. i came up with the idea that we should put something on these pages that informs other readers that they were intentionally left blank.
susie: oh yeah? mind if i take a look?
james: no, please do. maybe some fresh eyes will help.
susie: ::after looking at the contract for several minutes:: well, you're right, james. these two pages are blank. ::turns to phil:: you say you intentionally left these blank?
phil: i sure did, susie. i didn't have any information to go on there so i intentionally left them blank.
susie: this is puzzling.
marcus (the new guy): what if we put "we had no information to put on this page" on each of the pages? then people who read it will know that they were intentionally left blank because we had no information to put on those pages.
phil: i like it! i think the new kid is on to something.
james: well, phil ... marcus ... it does have merit, however ... it's too wordy, i think. i would like people reading this contract to know that these pages were intentionally left blank in as few words as possible.
marcus: shucks, you're right, james. that makes sense. ::goes back to thinking::
susie: what if? ... no, no never mind ... that won't work.
phil: no, susie, let's hear it. no ideas are bad ideas in here.
susie: well, i was thinking that if we wanted to let everyone know that these pages were intentionally left blank, we could contact janet down in marketing and have her order a stamp from staples that we can stamp on these pages. it could say something along the lines of, "blank page on purpose," or something to that effect. then we could just stamp it and everyone would know that these pages were intentionally left blank.
james: that's a great idea, susie, however, i'm not sure this is in our budget. we have hawaiian shirt day on friday and we're having lunch catered.
susie: oh, i'd forgotten about that. ::goes back to thinking::
phil: i have it!! ::he stands up and addresses the room, all of whom watch him with rapt attention:: we write: "this page intentionally left blank."
james: i like it! it's says what we mean and in few words! now everyone who reads this contract will know that these pages were intentionally left blank! great job, phil! ::begins to applaud::

soon, everyone in the boardroom is applauding phil and his brilliant idea. the meeting comes to an end and people begin to file out of the room.

susie: ::approaching phil:: hi phil. that was a great idea you came up with ... uh, i was wondering ... do you want to go get a drink sometime?
phil: well, susie. you know that i'm married ... but sure ... why not? maybe afterward we could fuck.

so ... apparently those two pages were intentionally left blank and some trees just died a little inside.