Tuesday, November 13, 2007

jeeps and babies ... oy.

so i woke up early today so i could be into work by 8 and hopefully be home at a reasonable hour. sounds like a good plan, eh? yeah, it would have been had my jeep started this morning. that's right, my jeep is a ginormous piece of shit and decided to break on me today.

my first attempt at starting 'christine' this morning resulted in nothing. it wouldn't even turn over. just sat there, laughing at me, still in the throes of whatever fantastic dream that jeeps dream. i got angry. i yelled at her. nothing. after taking several deep breaths i tried to sweet talk her into starting. she ignored me. i got angry. i yelled at her. nothing.

me: come on, you sweet little thing you.
jeep: ::silence::
me: just start, please.
jeep: ::silence::
me: start you piece of shit!
jeep: ::silence with a slight hint of mocking::

a few minutes of sitting in silence later, i tried again. this time i was greeted with a click-click-click-click-click-click! so, it's not the starter. i decided that i needed to clean the battery terminals.

i went upstairs and grabbed a diet coke from the fridge, a pair of pliers and a sponge. seeing as 'christine' likes diet coke, i emptied the can on the battery terminals (this is a trick to eat away at any buildup. the acid in coca-cola works wonders. it's also good at cleaning your windshield. bet you didn't know that one!) i used the pliers to loosen the bolts securing the thing-a-mabobs to the terminals and i cleaned them with the sponge as well as the terminals themselves. i reconnected everything and got back behind the wheel and tried again, urging her to turn over ... which she did, grudgingly, and with a grunt she went silent again. i screamed. neighbors stared.

i tried again, pumping the gas pedal this time and she finally caught. yay! she went silent again. no yay! i cursed ... and i flooded my engine. double sarcastic yay!

me: ugh, i hate you.

i went back upstairs and watched the rest of 'heroes' while giving my engine time to get un-flooded. by this time it's 8:45 ... 45 minutes later than i wanted to be at work and 15 minutes until my scheduled shift. irritation reigns inside my skull. after the show ended i went back outside to try again and lo and behold, she started. i let her run for about 5-10 minutes then turned her off, let her sit a minute, then started her up again. (i refuse to be trapped at a 7-11 trying to start my jeep again so i wanted to be sure she'd start right up).

i got to work at 9:30. bleh. by the way, the whole time i'm dealing with my jeep, it's pouring outside. god hates me. but at least i felt so butch! i even got grease on my hands! omg! i could totally take apart an engine block and put it back together right now! not promising it'll work afterward, but, you know ... minor details.

babies
so, anyway, this morning at work, shortly after i arrived, the 'good mother' comes in with her baby who is the cutest-thing-i-have-ever-seen-in-my-life-and-i-want-one-NOW! she's so adorable and she's healthy, which is a definite blessing. yay for babies! i got to hold her for a bit and was afraid i'd break her, but i did great and i hated to give her back, but i had to.

ok, well, back to the grind. thanks for letting me vent! and yay for babies!

8 comments:

Nanette said...

EEEEK! Christine needs an attitude adjustment, huh? And I think I knew about the Diet Coke trick for the battery, but no idea about the windshield. Doesn't that leave stuff sticky?

Scooter McFly said...

you rinse it off afterward, but it get's all the greasy, oily grit off the windshield so you can then wash it easier with soap and water. :) hints from heloise strikes again!

Terri: said...

Bad Jeep! Bad Jeep! Maybe it's time for an upgrade babe.

Scooter McFly said...

well, if my finances allowed, i'd probably upgrade, but don't tell Princess Madonna Jeepington (that's her real name ... it's only 'christine' when she acts evil.) she worked fine this morning, god bless her.

MrsTwink said...

Wow - I learned something new today! I learned that if my car ever dies on me, I should call YOU! :)

Anonymous said...

"i tried again, pumping the gas *petal* this time and she finally caught. yay!"

WAIT -- what the friggin' hell do flowers have to do with your car problemsl?!?! LOL j/k

Scooter McFly said...

hey, i'm not above making mistakes, but thank you so much for pointing it out ... thank you ... no, seriously, thank you.

you suck. lol.

Anonymous said...

Lemme see if I understand this, Joff. You think I suck since I pointed out a spelling error in regards to your Jeep blog entry drama. Do I have that correct, Joff?

bahahhahahaa

I <3 you and your blogs, Joff. LOL