a mental fracture ... fractured.

this is kind of going to be a long post as it's been a while since i've blogged. this past week and a half has been crazy busy at work so i've rarely had time to browse the internet much less post on my blog. a few things have happened since my last post, some good ... some bad. i'll start with the good.

good
the past friday i was coerced into going out. i say 'coerced,' but it doesn't take much, honestly. it's been roughly 2 months since i've gone out to the bars, give or take a week, and when steven called me telling me i had to come out, i was hesitant at first, but then i warmed up to the idea. so, jamie picked me up a little after 9 p.m. and we drove into the city toward 'grand central,' for their $1.75 drink special. now i've mentioned this drink special before but in case anyone's forgotten, i'll give a little recap. every friday night all drinks are $1.75 ... i'm not talking about bottom shelf shit, people, i'm talking about grey goose and patron and captain morgan ... the good shit. $1.75 ... seriously, how can you go wrong.

now, being that it's been so long since my last outing, it didn't take long to feel the drinks ... in fact, after my first captain and coke i was already feeling the first tingles of a buzz on the outskirts of my mind and by the time i finished the second one, i was in--if not full--medium swing. i had a jagerbomb shot and then steven forced a shot of patron on me and, i think, pushed me over the edge. i felt a bit queasy and was making periodic trips outside for fresh, cool air ... taking a stroll down the street in case i had to purge ... which, thankfully, i did on the 3rd or 4th outing. after that, i felt 100% better. shortly after my bulimic fit, we went down to never-on-sunday for some late night chow. i had a gyro. yum.

jamie drove me home and i climbed my stairs which felt a lot more than 3 stories and i collapsed into bed. the next morning i felt like death warmed over and i did nothing all day, falling in and out of sleep.

bad
well, ok, so basically only 1 good thing happened to me in the past week and it was that i got drunk ... i'm a borderline alcoholic, apparently, when the only thing good that has happened to me was that i fell under the influence and then subsequently purged. oy.

nothing major happened on monday or tuesday, but wednesday started out as a bad day from the moment i woke up.

wednesday
my alarm clock, usually infallible, decided to not wake me up. i woke up on my own--glancing at my clock--and shooting out of bed with a start. 7:15 a.m. i'm usually up at 6:30 every morning, leaving my place at 7:30, but today ... wasn't happening. i hopped in the shower, giving myself a quick nursing-home rubdown and then ejected myself from the porcelain deathtrap (i slipped getting in.) i managed to make it out my door by 7:40, barely enough time to stop and grab a coffee and head to work.

7-11 visited .. on the road again. i'm driving and notice the traffic is unusually thick this morning so i know for sure i will be late. on dundalk avenue a bus is in the right hand lane picking up passengers and the car in front of me is in the middle lane and wants to turn right. well, instead of waiting for the bus to leave, he tries to cut the bus off as the bus starts forward and both slam on their breaks. well ... the domino effect is in the hizzie. i slam on my breaks to avoid the car in front of me and out of the corner of my eye, i see my coffee cup fly forward in slow-motion, ready to paint the inside of my jeep a nice latte color. i did a momma save, my right arm lashing out and catching my cup, as everything and anything not tied down comes into the front seat ... however, my coffee is saved ... then i hear the screech of tires on asphalt and i look into my rear view mirror and see death riding a pale horse in the shape of a silver toyota camry bearing down on me, scythe raised to lop off my head. i'm dead. thankfully, the camry stops before plowing into my rear-end (ok, jamie ... insert innuendo here) and death has been averted. we're both swearing at the jerk-off in front of me who decides it is prudent to let the bus go and then he turns. man.

so, i get on 95 and am traveling to work. i'm a bit thirsty so i pick up my coffee, glancing at everything still strewn about on my passenger side floor, and go to take a sip. well, wouldn't you just know that when i performed that miraculous save of my coffee, i had nudged the lid enough that, when taking a sip, it popped off and coffee poured down my face ... down my neck ... into my undershirt ... onto my lap ... basically, everywhere. i curse and grab a napkin that i have in the jeep and mop myself off. i've re-attached the lid and go to put it back in the cup holder and the lid pops off again and i nearly drop my coffee in a startled frenzy. this day sucks, so far.

i get to work and my stomach is suddenly full of butterflies and i feel a lurch ... i've just realized something and it doesn't sit well with me. i think i forgot to lock my apartment on the way out the door in my rush. oh shit. i get inside and call my landlord who, graciously, says she will go over and check for me and if it's not locked, she will lock it for me. (i found out later it was locked, i just forgot i locked it.) but that is one of the worst feelings thinking that you may have all your property gone when you get home. oy!

thursday
thursday rolls around and i find out that fate oftentimes pulls out his fat dick and mollywhops you in the face with it multiples times until you nearly succumb to a comatose state. i get a call.

me: hello?
chris: hey, geoff?
me: this is he.
chris: hey, this is christina.
me: oh, hey chris.
chris: hi. i don't know if you've heard, but i got an email from [the company i'm at now] and your contract is ending on the 31st so that will be your last day.
me: ::silence::
chris: i'm already starting to look for something new for you, but i need you to update your resume.
me: oh, ok.

so, ladies and gentlemen, the company that i've invested a healthy dose of reliability, time, effort, versatility ... has decided that they don't need me anymore. what a kick in the nuts.

in the 7+ months i've been here i've done so much shit for these people ... always willing to help out on projects ... learning new aspects of the job ... and they basically are just like, "yeah, thanks for the help. bye." a lot of people who work here are pissed and i've had multiple people come up to me and say they are going to see what they can do, but in all honesty ... why bother? it's a budget issue ... has nothing to do with my performance. i've just got to move on, but it just sucks because i've grown very accustomed to working here and with the people i do and i was starting to develop that familial bond here, if that makes sense.

oh well. i have a different company that i am looking at now that does basically the same thing as they do here, except they are hiring on full time and i won';t have to deal with that contracted bullshit, so ... wish me luck with them.

so, basically, my week has been hell ... granted, really only 2 bad days out of 5, but that's enough to encompass the entire week. i just want to go home now and crawl into bed and brood until monday.