"miss scarlet! miss scarlet! i don't know nuffin' about birfin' no geoffreys!"

tomorrow marks a momentous day in history, but first let's give a little back story ...

woman meets man ... they fall in love ... they do that thing that men and women do (ick ... breeder sex!) ... before long there's a twinkle in someone's eye ... the woman gets fat and POW! out comes a screaming alien-esque thing ... all squirmy ... covered in ick ... apparently it did something bad because the doctor smacked it ... waaaaah!

and there you have it. the wonderful process of my birth. isn't that sweet?

ok, so tomorrow is my birthday and before you all ask, i'll be 29 ... again. ask me 10 years from now and i'll tell you the same. so, the celebration starts tonight and i'm being taken out for my birthday and i am so excited! we're going to this amazing restaurant called 'Fogo de Chão,' a brazilian steakhouse that, after my first visit, became one of my favorite places to indulge my appetite in some meat!

when you first get to your table you're asked--by one of the many friendly wait staff flitting about--"have you ever been to our establishment before?" or something similar, meaning they have a certain way in which the food is served. you'll get the same question when going to 'the melting pot'. anyway, they go on to explain that at each place setting is a little circular card--red on one side, green on the other--which you utilize to let the wait staff know you're in the mood for more.

red means: stop ... i need a break ... i think i'm dying! ...

green means: bring out the meat! i know, i know ... i had the card red before but i just needed a small break ... no, no, i'm not dying ... it may have just been gas ... I WANT MEAT!!!! just drop the entire haunch in my lap and leave me be! bring out the jester! i crave entertainment!! where are my vassals! god, i love being king!

i love this place! you don't even have to talk! just keep cramming food into your mouth and when you want more, there's no, "please sir ... more?" hell no, you just flip that card and viola! meat magically appears at your side, sliced there at the table and you grab it with tongs and place it on your plate. yay for gluttony!

ok, so, the meat is amazing here and i definitely recommend the top and bottom sirloin. it simply melts in your mouth and you can't quite get enough. there are many other variations of dead animal to partake of and they even have chicken and pork at times.

however, if you're not that into meat--believe me, i know how it is ... i went almost 9 years without red meat, only eating chicken and fish, but Fogo de Chão lured me into its meaty web and then inducted me into their red-delicious cult--there is an amazing salad bar which is bigger than my bedroom and has so much scrumptious food ranging from smoked salmon to fresh cold white asparagus to huge chunks of parmesan cheese to, well ... lettuce. it's worth it to go simply for the salad bar.

the best part of all of this .... yup, all you can eat!

BRING. IT. ON!

ok, so ... enough about meat ... scrumptious ... mouth watering ... meaty meat ...

::shakes head::

ok, so ... wow ... um, after dinner we're heading out to the central station pub, a local gay bar in baltimore, for a little bit o' the drink. hopefully, with all that meat floating around in my gut, i won't get too polluted too quickly. however, if i do ... i don't recommend anyone coming to hold my hair back when i puke ... can't imagine how that will look!

the best part of the evening, however, will be the fact that i will be in the company of some of the very best people that money can buy ... oh, wait, i mean ... that i've been fortunate enough to have been graced with. i definitely like to surround myself with great people and i think that i've certainly accomplished that and i'm very, very thankful for them and i honestly don't know what i would do without them. they absolutely make me a better person.

i love you guys and girls!