still getting laid ... off

this is kind of an update post.

it's still looking like i'm being let go at the end of the month though i was told in confidence--and yet i share it with the internet world ... hmm--that my name was brought up in a discussion regarding a new overflow project that is being implemented here. whether or not i will be chosen to be in this group and thus my departure delayed, i have no idea, but i'm not sure that i want to even be associated with this place anymore. it's like dangling a piece of beef in front of a dog and then yanking it away as he goes to snap for it. no thanks.

i'm still working on my resume, but i'm waiting for job descriptions from my boss regarding the many different departmental voids that i've been very flexible enough to fill. i mean, i know what i did and i know how to write it out, however, it wouldn't be in layman's terms which ends up not being too impressive on a resume. i know that resumes are about selling yourself--which i am bad at--but not with terms no one understands.

"yes, i'm a flugalbinder* operative on a misanthropic collusion of various confidential misogynistic variables of increasing duration and quasi-problematic solutions to exothermic resolutions."

meh ... just so you know, i'm not misogynistic in the least and as for that other shit ... can you guess that i made that up? it sounded damn impressive, yes? but if you were a potential employer looking at that on my resume, i have a distinct feeling you'd think i was blowing smoke up your ass, which, if i ever had that on my resume ... you'd be correct. now, i've had a couple people request my resume and i'm looking into opportunities with another health group basically expanding on everything that i've learned and been able to accomplish here but honestly, anywhere i go i will pick up the job very quickly as i'm a fast learner and a self-starter and a go-getter, dammit.

so, anyway ... there's the update. now for the rest of the post:

lately i've come to the realization of a couple of things. the first is that i'm getting old. yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's happening ... to me of all people. i know, i know ... how can i grow old? it's a mystery, yes. my peter pan syndrome is waning and my happy thoughts are being replaced with responsible ones. my normally youthful exuberance is now mutating into a matured, yet lighthearted, demeanor.

also, my birthday is this saturday and i'm turning the big 32 (22 in gay years) so that's kinda hitting home. soon it'll be to the point that i'm closer to 40 than i am 30 and i think i could snap. dunno yet. i have a few years to grow accustomed to the idea ... and you all have a few years to purchase body armor and other protective gear and barricade your homes. i can't control myself when i'm in 'the rage.' rawr! i'll post more about my birthday in a later post as we're going to one of my very favorite restaurants. woot.

the second thing i've come to realize lately is that i'm a vehicle racist. there, i've said it. i don my jeep hood and go around burning other cars. ok, maybe not to that extent, but i do notice that i will have no qualms about cutting off a vehicle or not letting someone in when they clearly have a yield sign. and if they cut me off, i usually curse and rant and rave, the whole 8 yards--the 9th yard would be me running them off the road.

however, if i see a jeep that needs to get over, i will get out and redirect traffic if i have to. oh, i'm going 65 mph but you need to get on the highway? sure, come on over! ::break slam:: a jeep cuts me off, i smile and wave and mouth "you're welcome." you see, jeep drivers have a thing ... it's a 'jeep thing' if you've ever seen the bumper stickers and it's so true. if i see a jeep on the side of the road with their flashers on, i will stop and help, even if they look like drug addled crazed lunatics carrying axes and shotguns, leaning against the driver's side door, a hockey mask pulled down over their face.

"hi. jeep trouble?"

meh ... so, i've admitted it and i don't care who knows it anymore. judge me if you must, i'm gay so i'll judge right back! bring it! it's already been broughten!

sorry for this rather weird post. i'm zooming on like 4 cups of coffee already and it's only 9:45 am. aside from my heart pounding out of my chest, i'm in the bathroom far more than i'm not. i think i'll bring my computer in there.

[puffy heart]

*if you can tell me what a flugalbinder is, you win a gold star!