last night we went greek ...

get your minds out of the gutter ... i didn't do anyone in the bum last night.

no, last night i had a dinner date with mrs.twink--which was planned earlier in the week--and we were going to 'samos,' a greek restaurant near where she and the mr. live. so the plan is to meet at 5 pm at her placeand then she and i would walk to the restaurant. so, i arrive at her place and the first thing i notice is the throng of people milling about outside on the sidewalk by where she lives, all of them in varying degrees of trashiness from the white trash to the greek mafia. luckily, her door is riiiiiiiight there and i can just step in and ... yay! air-conditioned haven!

ok, so, when i get there she's putting a load in the laundry and as soon as she's done we head out the door. remember those people i was talking about? yup, they're still there, though far fewer than before. as we begin walking you hear lots of noise ... people shouting, hammers hammering, music blaring, babies crying ... it's a scene out of a movie where you are walking down a dank alley in NYC, smoke billowing up from steam vents, and all you hear is background noise ... cars passing, music somewhere in the distance, babies crying, women getting beat, gunshots ...

so, anyway ... we pass this one house with the door standing wide open and there's a white trash dad who's yelling at his 3 or 4 year old daughter to "get back in this house!" as she stands in the doorway of her home wearing only her daddy's moth-eaten 'big johnson' t-shirt, her face covered in filth, and scratching herself in various locations on her body. ::averts eyes:: mrs.twink walks by all this without falter.

we pass all the relocated dundalk trash and make our way to the main street and she informs me she needs to get money from the atm. fine, get money ... i'm paying for dinner though, i think. so, as we're walking to the atm, our hands brush up against one another.

::awkward moment::

do i hold her hand? do i pretend it didn't happen? what do i do? she looks into my eyes and i into hers and our lips meet and we, wait ... no, that didn't happen ... so, she gets money out and we go to the restaurant.

we each ordered the vegekabob (but i got mine with chicken!) and a sampler that had tzatziki sauce (delicious!), some sort of pepper hummus, mushroom hummus, calamata olive paste (delicious!) and, i guess, salmon hummus? all of them were tasty--the tzatziki and olive being my favorite--except the salmon stuff. i took a small bite because i wanted to just try it at least. it was a pink cream-cheesy consistency laced with salmon roe and at first it had no flavor ... then suddenly i got hit in the face with a baseball bat of fishiness. it was gross. if i wasn't gay and classy i would have spit it out, but since i am, i swallowed. (mind ... gutters ... get out!) throughout dinner we talked about everything and we even gossipped a bit! ::gasp!:: i know ... a gay man and a woman gossiping?! it can't happen! say it isn't so! but yes, we did some gossiping. not about any of our friends, mind you ... a lot of it pertained to people we work with. it was fun.

after dinner i pull out my card to pay for the meal and mrs.twink stops me.

mrs.twink: i got this, geoff.
me: no, i'm going to pay.
mrs.twink: no, i want to get this.
me: i've got my card out already.
mrs.twink: hah! they only take cash.
me: you're lying.
mrs.twink: bet me.
me: ok, i bet you the cost of this meal.

i sat there with a smug look on my face because i knew i would win. i mean, who doesn't take credit cards at a restaurant. this was in the bag. the waitress arrives and i go to hand her my card.

waitress: oh, we only take cash. there's an atm back through the bathrooms.

score:
mrs.twink: 1
geoff: 0

after she paid we went back to her place where i was able to peruse her wedding album. oh. my. god. it. is. amazing. i loved it! it was very nicely done! while i was looking through it, the mr. came home from home depot and mrs.twink and i watched as he and marshall lugged heavy boxes of floor tiles into the house. (i would have offered to help, but heavy lifting? i don't think so.) the mr. started to sweat ... you're right jamie ... yum.

afterward we watched the tail end of "hey paula" and then mrs.twink introduced me to another show that i will be watching ... "scott baio is 45 ... and single" omg, talk about child star tragedy! he's pathetic and the show was like a train wreck ... i couldn't tear my eyes away. i enjoyed it very much and i shall set up my dvr to record it. thank you, mrs.twink.

so, in conclusion, dinner was great, the company was greater and the wedding album was fabulous! i had a great time, even when petey french kissed me, and i can't wait to do it again (w/o the doggie tongue action.) i adore mrs.twink, not only for her beauty and charm, but for her sadistic gossipy side and winning personality!

(author's note: mrs.twink's neighborhood really isn't all that bad. i'm just really good at finding the bad things about places and people and exploiting them. wonder gay powers ... activate!)