whether it's a fortunate or unfortunate circumstance, i'm not sure, but at dunkin donuts this morning, cbm (see post: we don't all love barbra!) was nowhere to be found and she's normally there everyday. i was a little disappointed ... i wanted to see if she would burn my bagel today, her and her vile homophobic ways. jennifer was there and she was sweet as pie ... of course, she generally is. i didn't expect much change from her.
a pleasant surprise today, however, came in the form of a 240 lb black bull dyke named ann. sweet, sweet ann. i knew she was gay the moment my eyes fell on her robust frame and i worked my way into it, to weed out the truth and to confirm my well-placed gaydar.
me: you look tired. you're taking a break already and it's not even 6 o'clock yet. ::smile::
ann: i am tired. that's what i get for staying out too late last night.
me: oh, where did you go?
ann: this place off of route 1 ... we sang karaoke.
me: ooh, fun. what's the place called? i'm not really familiar with any of the bars around here.
ann: ::adopts a thoughtful look on her well-rounded face:: i forget.
me: no worries. yeah, i usually haunt the central or the hippo out in b'more, hon.
ann: awww, yeaaaaaah. (sound it out in your head, people .. that's how she did it) i used to go there all the time. both hippo and central.
me: ::thinking:: and coconuts. (note: i did not verbalize this)
ann: and coconuts.
me: DYKE!!!!! ::throws hot coffee in her face!::
ok, i really didn't do that last part. just wanted to make this an action blog ... lots of stunts and special effects. meh ... honestly, i just feel no more need to relay any more of the conversation as nothing else really pertains to my astounding ability with my gaydar.
so, jamie, unfortunately the ruing will have to wait for another day, but believe you me, as soon as cbm burns my bagel again, we're taking her down! gays around the world: UNITE!! she'll have the worst hair and facials she's ever had in her life!
p.s. i think the homophobe made better iced coffee, but don't tell that to ann ... i must support the troops in the vast gay army.
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2 comments:
Wow...your gaydar is right on!!
I miss my coconuts girls.
I've heard homophobes make better iced coffee, I think it was on C-SPAN...or FOX News, I honestly can't remember.
Well cbm isn't in the clear yet. She can run, but she can't hide...even if she never steps foot in a salon again. We have far reaching contacts. She won't see us coming...unless we're wearing sequins...they're kinda hard to miss.
I liked the action sequence, Geoff. Very captivating.
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