people are stupid ...

this morning i was up fairly early, but relaxed in bed watching "hey paula," which, if you haven't seen it yet, you must! that woman is seriously tapped.

anyway, so i'm watching the show and at around 11 o'clock i decide to get my day officially started. for the record, this is a 'hibernation' weekend. i plan on doing shit ... huddled in my room, avoiding sunlight like the plague, watching tv and totally vegging the fuck out ... maybe even blogging a little bit (hey ... look what i'm doing ... i'm following through!) one thing that was on my mind, however, is that i need my tires rotated and balanced. simple, yes? quick? should be. i might as well get it over and done with.

i get dressed--screw the shower, i'm a leper this weekend!--and hop in my jeep and rumble my way down to the waugh chapel plaza to grab a coffee from caribou. "large hazelnut latte, skim, no foam please," i say in my somewhat cheery, yet 'afraid-of-humans' voice ... i hate that i am having any human interaction on my weekend off.

"sorry, no coffee for you," i hear and i look up at the speaker. this adorable kid named matt--who i haven't seen in forever--is smirking at me, looking all cute. i feel like a pedder now because he's like 19 or 20, but so what. we shoot the shit for a few minutes then he gets back to work and i am hating the fact that he saw me all bummy in my unshaven face and my thrown together ensemble ... ok, that makes me sound like a bum, but honey, being a fag means that you have to dress up to even go out to get the mail. anyway, i figure, hey, the morning is still going good. i'm still stress free. i'm about to get my caffeine fix ... i'm good.

i get my coffee and take my first sip and, like a dumb-ass, burn the roof of my mouth because, gee, the latte won't be hot ... it's only boiling espresso and steamed milk.

::so not amused::

after the throbbing pain goes away--or rather, lessens--i pull a dangling piece of skin from the roof of my mouth and ultimately decide that the coffee is delicious--sans the taste of melted flesh--but i know enough now to let the temperature of my drink drop from nuclear to warehouse fire.

so, i drive down to goodyear to have my tires taken care of. i park. now, since there's no one in sight, the parking lot is almost bare, i'm thinking, "great! get in, get out! done!" i walk to the door. the tinkling of bells heralds my entry and a woman behind the counter sets down her copy of 'ebony' and looks up at me.

woman behind counter (who looks an awful lot like billy dee williams): can i help you?
me: yes, i need to get my tires rotated and balanced.
woman: oh. ::looks behind her into the garage bay:: yeah, it's going to be like a 3 to 4 hour wait.
me: ::i sigh and look at my watch:: (11:45 ... i'm good. i can go run a few errands, come back, get my jeep done, get home, avoid humanity for the rest of the day.) cool, ok. so, when do you close?
woman: today? 3 o'clock.
me: ::blank stare::
woman: ::smiles at me sweetly ... a lando calrissian smirk::

i do the math in my head ... 11:45 a.m. + 3 or 4 hours = 2:45 or 3:45 p.m. i'm wondering how there can be a 4 hour wait if they close at 3. hell, even if i come in at 2:45 and get right in, can this be done in 15 minutes? i refuse to keep mechanics after their end of shift ... i don't want them fucking with my ride. a little cut in the break line here ... a loosening of a bolt there .... done! then my jeep falls apart going 85 on the highway. no thank you.

me: ok, well, how's tomorrow look?
woman: we're closed tomorrow.
me: ::inward groan::

so, in the end, i have an appointment on tuesday at 4 o'clock. who knew this would be an ordeal? i'm going home to lock myself away and nurse my wounded mouth. can you use neosporin on internal injuries?