"she's only friends with him because he's gay ..."

recently it was brought to my attention, by daisy dyke, that another co-worker of ours questioned daisy's friendship with me.

big and mismatched: why are you friends with geoff?
daisy dyke: because he and i click. he's a great guy, why?
big: why aren't you friends with [tall, black and gay]?
daisy: why? because he's gay?
big: yeah.
daisy: i don't see him as often as i see geoff. and it has nothing to do with him being gay. ::rolls eyes::
big: well, i just find it odd that you and geoff are such good friends.
daisy: why?
big: you just met him.
daisy: and your point?

so, apparently big and mismatched thinks that the only reason daisy dyke and i are friends is because i'm gay and she's a lesbian, because, you know that's what gays do. i personally think she's just jealous because even in her wildest dreams, she'll never be as fabulous as i am.

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something totally unrelated. i woke up to another infomercial today ... this is the best thing i have ever heard someone say on one of them:

old man: i took it out back and smashed it against a tree trunk a few times and it still worked.

the old man who said this is referring to the 'cobra stun light' ... it has three functions to stop an attacker:

• it's a flashlight with 3 high powered LED lights which create a blinding effect making it extremely difficult for your attacker to see you and thus disorienting him.
• when you push a button a red laser shoots out and looks like the sights of a gun and psychologically scares it's intended target
• and finally, if that doesn't work and a perpetrator continues to approach, you push another button and a high powered narrow stream of highly concentrated pepper spray shoots out from the center of the flashlight and (using the laser as a guide) is accurate for up to 20 feet!

I WANT ONE!!!!!